I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
