i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
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You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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