Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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