Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
