i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
