dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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