Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
