Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
