We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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