Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
