You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
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He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
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Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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