Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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