Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
