lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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