I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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