i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
