for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
