I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
