awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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