Already got asked if we're dating
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
