You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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