Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he was CRYING into my vagina
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
