How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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