your parents love me but you hate me
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize