I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
