weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
This is the high leading the old right now
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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