I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize