So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
she smelled like a LAN party
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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