11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
