I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
a search helicopter?!
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
