I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
