Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
