Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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