nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
