You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize