I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize