1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
