i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
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I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
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After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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