It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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