I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
