I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i wish my penis had a tongue
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
