At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
it's like iHOP with fire
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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