Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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