she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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