wanna go halves on a baby?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
