I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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