Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
