Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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