DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We left an ass print on the piano.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
