I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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