Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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