Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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