haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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