he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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