bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
