so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
