I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
