About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i dont even know how to be here
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
