Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
