is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
