before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
