He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
