You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
