I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
