I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
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While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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