Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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