i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize