Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
The air taste purple.
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