It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
