OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
