haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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