none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
